Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. 1 Timothy 4:12
Some of you who are just getting to know me might not know this, but I have a HUGE self esteem issue. I mean, at any moment in time, I am wondering if my hair has shifted, if my makeup still looks ok, can you see my imperfect body? Constantly going through my mind. This started as a child and I fight it day in and day out. Whew - that is a BIG confession right there!
Why am I writing about it? Well, I see a lot of the same insecurities in my oldest. I see him trying to fit in or trying to make others happy. It's a total curse, that I have passed on, and I'm so trying to fix it. He's 16, handsome as all get out, great voice, great heart, and will do just about anything for you. Sure, he is 16 and a little poo brain sometimes, but what 16 year old male isn't?
So, if he reads this, he is going to freak, but I hope he takes to heart what I am about to say.
The devil is CONSTANTLY trying to push doubt and fear into our lives. It's his way of getting us to second guess ourselves or distract us from our purpose. Lately I have felt extra plump if we can just be blunt. I'm on new meds that are helping me feel extra plump and it has been a major distraction for the last couple of months and the devil is using it. At work, at home, and at church. Lately I've been hearing that still small voice say to me "that is not the point, it's not what you look like, it's who you are in ME". Who am I in Christ? My spiritual gift test tells me I am a servant and a counselor. God has given me loads of testimonies to share and I love to serve others. My area of ministry is music. Love music - can remember every song's words from my childhood to now. So, through my search I have concluded God has made me to worship him in song, servant hood, and friendship. I would have liked it if God had made me to worship him and be perfect in every way, but that's not His plan.
So, back to focus on insecurities and living with the freedom found in Christ. I pray that when the devil tries to convince my children that they aren't "up to par" in any area of life that they can find and know who they are in Christ. They are perfect in Christ. Forgiven by Christ and here to worship and point people to Christ. I pray that they are leaders and not followers to fit into a "group".
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Second one...I might get used to this...it's almost theraputic
Snow snow go away, come again no other day!
More snow in the forecast makes me cranky. I should say it this way...Snow that makes it hard to get to work makes me cranky. Am I cranky you ask? Overall, no. I'm sad that we had to miss choir tonight, but it did allow me to go to dinner with my family and shop for carpet. For that, I am thankful. For 2 littles who haven't been out of the house since Sunday morning, they did OK...the waitress got a nice tip...she was patient and kind.
Now, I am laying in Jaxson's bed waiting for him to fall asleep. It might be a long night. But I'm thankful for this little stinker. He's 6 but thinks he is 20. He is an old soul. He's got a heart as big as any I've ever seen. He loves everything and is passionate about just about anything. He's competitive, a yapper, and funny. One day he said "Have you ever had the cupcakes?" And I said cupcakes? (insert hiccup here) "Yeah the cupcakes"...I just laughed, it was so innocent. He likes to sing and dance. He thinks he is a cowboy. He gives some of the biggest hugs around and when he's feeling especially sweet, he'll even give you a kiss.
One of my favorite things about Jaxson is the way he prays. He is so honest. Whatever is on his heart is what he prays for. During Christmas he mixed up Jesus and Santa and I was going to correct him, but then I thought about it. Jesus gave us the ultimate gift and Jaxson is starting to get that more and more every day and so he equates the gift of Jesus with Santa and that Santa is to give gifts...not everyone may agree with me, but I think there's a connection.
I can tell you what I think Zach will be when he grows up - I think he'll be a teacher - and a great one at that - he disagrees, but we'll see. Cody is going to be some kind of engineer or someone who creates things. He's got an imagination and has really unique ideas that do make sense. When it comes to Jaxson, I have NO idea what I think he'll do with life. Sometimes I think a farmer, but then sometimes I have no idea.
Thank you God for my children. Thank you for letting me be their mom and for allowing me the chance to raise them. I pray that they be Godly boys and men and that they will show your love to all they meet. Please bless their lives. Amen.
More snow in the forecast makes me cranky. I should say it this way...Snow that makes it hard to get to work makes me cranky. Am I cranky you ask? Overall, no. I'm sad that we had to miss choir tonight, but it did allow me to go to dinner with my family and shop for carpet. For that, I am thankful. For 2 littles who haven't been out of the house since Sunday morning, they did OK...the waitress got a nice tip...she was patient and kind.
Now, I am laying in Jaxson's bed waiting for him to fall asleep. It might be a long night. But I'm thankful for this little stinker. He's 6 but thinks he is 20. He is an old soul. He's got a heart as big as any I've ever seen. He loves everything and is passionate about just about anything. He's competitive, a yapper, and funny. One day he said "Have you ever had the cupcakes?" And I said cupcakes? (insert hiccup here) "Yeah the cupcakes"...I just laughed, it was so innocent. He likes to sing and dance. He thinks he is a cowboy. He gives some of the biggest hugs around and when he's feeling especially sweet, he'll even give you a kiss.
One of my favorite things about Jaxson is the way he prays. He is so honest. Whatever is on his heart is what he prays for. During Christmas he mixed up Jesus and Santa and I was going to correct him, but then I thought about it. Jesus gave us the ultimate gift and Jaxson is starting to get that more and more every day and so he equates the gift of Jesus with Santa and that Santa is to give gifts...not everyone may agree with me, but I think there's a connection.
I can tell you what I think Zach will be when he grows up - I think he'll be a teacher - and a great one at that - he disagrees, but we'll see. Cody is going to be some kind of engineer or someone who creates things. He's got an imagination and has really unique ideas that do make sense. When it comes to Jaxson, I have NO idea what I think he'll do with life. Sometimes I think a farmer, but then sometimes I have no idea.
Thank you God for my children. Thank you for letting me be their mom and for allowing me the chance to raise them. I pray that they be Godly boys and men and that they will show your love to all they meet. Please bless their lives. Amen.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Uh, we are just going to see how this goes for a few days...
Lately, a lot has been going on in my life and I'm kind of tired of writing it over and over, so I'm gonna try this. This could quite possibly be the one and only blog you will see/read from me or I could get into this and totally obsess over it like I do most things.
Today is Feb 2, 2014. It's been a GREAT day. I enjoyed waking up to fix my hair for the first time with this cut and getting ready to go worship! I had totally forgotten that Coach Lunney was going to be speaking today or I would have decked myself out in my BHS Tigers get up! Yes, I am one of those who obsesses for about 2 hours the night before about what I'm going to wear wherever I go and then I usually change my mind 15 minutes before I head out the door.
Some of you know that I have recently struggled with finding peace at where I wanted to plant my family as far as a home church is concerned. We've been a part of FBC Centerton since 2006 and have loved the last 7years there. But unknown to me, God had something different in mind for my 2014. Another thing about me you might want to know is that:
1. I do NOT like change
2. I have to be in control
3. I do NOT like change
In December my friend was baptized and I remember being in her shoes not too long ago as an adult whom everyone thought was a Christian, but having that doubt that I needed to take care of. I also knew how alone I felt when I was baptized after taking care of my salvation and so God pushed me to get out of my comfort zone and witness this wonderful image of beginning a new life in Christ.
Anyhow - I went by myself the first time. Which is HUGE for me. I do NOT go anywhere new on my own. While visiting FBC Bentonville on this one Sunday something moved inside of me. I fought it with all that was in me. So, I thought - what the heck, I'm going to go visit again and see what this is all about. LOVED it. I'm pretty sure the pastor followed me everywhere I went that week and took notes on my struggles and then pointed them back out to me that Sunday. The people were so nice, so intentional. I went to Sunday School and found that these people were nice too.
I thought, well, I have all of this at FBC Centerton. What's the deal Melissa? So, I went to FBC Bentonville again. Pastor followed me around again, in fact that week, he had ESP! During worship, I sang with a free heart. Not a rehearsed part, just whatever came out.
So, I talked with a few people...I, Melissa, resolved that we would not change churches until the 3 boys were on board. Cody was already on bored...the only one I thought would put up a fight. Jax and Zach were not. So, I, Melissa, told God I would give him 6 weeks to solidify where I needed to be. So, back to FBC Centerton I went. Sunday morning was awkward. I know why it was awkward, but I had made a resolution and God knew it, so I will stick it out. Well, that afternoon I went to a Bible Study at FBC Bentonville, took Jax and Cody to Kid's choir and RA's. I didn't know they still had RA's...anyway...Jax had a blast and was now on board for FBC Bentonville. Now, the 16 year old was my next hurdle and I was pretty sure he was going to stick it out for the 6 weeks. He's more stubborn than I am. So, on Monday night I sat with Zach to talk about his day at school and his weekend with his dad. He said - I think we should go to FBC Bentonville for good. We can give it a shot.
I left his room and went into my bathroom and cried. God was smiling on me and had answered my 6 week time frame in 72 hours. He was probably thinking - why do you do this to me? Why do you put me in a box that you think you can control? I bow my head and say...I dunno? Amazed at what God had answered so quickly, God put a peace in my boys and my heart that we were to move to FBC Bentonville and plant there and grow there.
We joined FBC Bentonville this morning. I want to shout it from the rooftops what God has done.
Today is Feb 2, 2014. It's been a GREAT day. I enjoyed waking up to fix my hair for the first time with this cut and getting ready to go worship! I had totally forgotten that Coach Lunney was going to be speaking today or I would have decked myself out in my BHS Tigers get up! Yes, I am one of those who obsesses for about 2 hours the night before about what I'm going to wear wherever I go and then I usually change my mind 15 minutes before I head out the door.
Some of you know that I have recently struggled with finding peace at where I wanted to plant my family as far as a home church is concerned. We've been a part of FBC Centerton since 2006 and have loved the last 7years there. But unknown to me, God had something different in mind for my 2014. Another thing about me you might want to know is that:
1. I do NOT like change
2. I have to be in control
3. I do NOT like change
In December my friend was baptized and I remember being in her shoes not too long ago as an adult whom everyone thought was a Christian, but having that doubt that I needed to take care of. I also knew how alone I felt when I was baptized after taking care of my salvation and so God pushed me to get out of my comfort zone and witness this wonderful image of beginning a new life in Christ.
Anyhow - I went by myself the first time. Which is HUGE for me. I do NOT go anywhere new on my own. While visiting FBC Bentonville on this one Sunday something moved inside of me. I fought it with all that was in me. So, I thought - what the heck, I'm going to go visit again and see what this is all about. LOVED it. I'm pretty sure the pastor followed me everywhere I went that week and took notes on my struggles and then pointed them back out to me that Sunday. The people were so nice, so intentional. I went to Sunday School and found that these people were nice too.
I thought, well, I have all of this at FBC Centerton. What's the deal Melissa? So, I went to FBC Bentonville again. Pastor followed me around again, in fact that week, he had ESP! During worship, I sang with a free heart. Not a rehearsed part, just whatever came out.
So, I talked with a few people...I, Melissa, resolved that we would not change churches until the 3 boys were on board. Cody was already on bored...the only one I thought would put up a fight. Jax and Zach were not. So, I, Melissa, told God I would give him 6 weeks to solidify where I needed to be. So, back to FBC Centerton I went. Sunday morning was awkward. I know why it was awkward, but I had made a resolution and God knew it, so I will stick it out. Well, that afternoon I went to a Bible Study at FBC Bentonville, took Jax and Cody to Kid's choir and RA's. I didn't know they still had RA's...anyway...Jax had a blast and was now on board for FBC Bentonville. Now, the 16 year old was my next hurdle and I was pretty sure he was going to stick it out for the 6 weeks. He's more stubborn than I am. So, on Monday night I sat with Zach to talk about his day at school and his weekend with his dad. He said - I think we should go to FBC Bentonville for good. We can give it a shot.
I left his room and went into my bathroom and cried. God was smiling on me and had answered my 6 week time frame in 72 hours. He was probably thinking - why do you do this to me? Why do you put me in a box that you think you can control? I bow my head and say...I dunno? Amazed at what God had answered so quickly, God put a peace in my boys and my heart that we were to move to FBC Bentonville and plant there and grow there.
We joined FBC Bentonville this morning. I want to shout it from the rooftops what God has done.
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